Previously when trying to figure out how the RPishthing Secrets would end we discussed that Vahaadi could go back to Lunarious with Spark. That resulted in riduclous but endearing pictures like this.
But the problem with that is once Vahaadi has recovered, he’s starting to live a healthy, fulfilled lifestyle, then what? Eventually people leave rehab. Where do they go? How do they start again? Would Vahaadi live in Luanrious forever? Highly unlikely, as it’s not suited for djinn at all. Then what is left for him? To return to his world, only to miss even MORE friends and feel lonelier than ever? This is not a good set up for Vahaadi, no matter how much he learned while he was in Lunarious.
But what other alternative is there? I was highly inspired by the story by Oscar Wilde “The Happy Prince,” and decided to explore the possibility of Spark taking the place of the Swallow in the story. Secrets is really the only chance I ever have to explore what Spark’s heart would look like were it ever to mature and grapple with serious issues. In Loose Canon we will explore that during her senior year without Vahaadi, but since we haven’t reached that point in Loose Canon’s development, I keep returning to Secrets to work through her character more. Well, and I just want reconciliation/resolution D: I need closure!
“The Happy Prince” can be found here:
http://fiction.eserver.org/short/happy_prince.html
As can the chapter of “The Little Prince” which also came to mind.
http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/framechapter26.html
Here is also a song that inspired me:
http://youtu.be/1spkhp41ig4
((Of course let me know if what I wrote for Vahaadi is OOC!))
“But, Spark,” Vahaadi began, his voice low and dry. “I have no where else to go.”
Spark stared at him, confused and horrified. “Wha-what do you mean? Of course you do! Thankfully you don’t have to stay with Took anymore, but I’m sure Lanthriel wouldn’t mind–” her voice trailed off as she saw Vahaadi draw away from her, fresh tears hovering in his eyes. “Lanthriel will no longer see me,” he breathed.
Spark balked. “Well, I mean, it’s gotta be a misunderstanding, Vahaadi, Lanthriel wouldn’t let you have to come back to a place like this–”
Vahaadi took a few steps away from her, sliding down onto a platform covered in pillows. They were both quiet for a time.
“Even Lanthriel?” Spark asked again, her voice an incredulous whisper. Vahaadi nodded, utterly drained. Yes, even Lanthriel refused to have anything to do with him anymore. Spark couldn’t imagine the despair of living in a world where not a soul you knew wanted you. Vahaadi had no family, no friends, not even teammates. The only thing that even came close were the anonymous, greedy, lustful embraces Vahaadi found here. And in his desperation for significance, intimacy, and acceptance, Vahaadi became exactly who those clients wanted him to be.
An unbearable realization triggered within Spark, and she began shaking, her mind reeling with all the memories she had ever so carefully tucked away of the stories Vahaadi had told her about his adventures. None of them were true. And she had known they were never true. But she had wanted to believe them so badly she had never asked for the truth. She had used him. Vahaadi understood what delighted Spark, so he lavished her with swashbuckling tales of the extraordinary. He became her fantasy, just like he did for the men here. And all the while she had never once asked about the real Vahaadi. It had been too fun to pretend instead. An anguish unlike anything Spark had ever experienced blossomed inside her. An unfamiliar rush of remorse. It hurt. It HURT. Just like it had hurt when Vahaadi had abandoned her the night before but she couldn’t block it out. It was the pain of loving to the point it costs something dear. Just as she had determined the previous night, it was too late to go back to not knowing, too late to pull out and not be left with scars. Spark loved Vahaadi more than she had ever loved anyone or anything besides herself, even enough to suffer the pain it cost. She didn’t like the way this kind of deep, real love felt. It was foreign and uncomfortably close. But to go without it was unthinkable.
Spark knelt down next to Vahaadi, drawing herself up behind him and gently guiding his head to lay on her shoulder. Her fingers stroked his hair around the top of his cowl as she wondered how to begin. Apologizing was not something she did often, not ever, if she could help it. But she owed Vahaadi this. Unable to meet his gaze she glanced at the ground.
“Vahaadi… I’ve been a rotten friend. I made you scared to tell me the truth about how lonely you were, about the things you’ve done, the person you think you have to be! A good friend would have let you know you can be yourself around them no matter what, even if they never put it into words. But I was so selfish!” It was like being stabbed to admit it, but she managed to continue. “I made you think that if I ever knew the truth about you, I’d walk away too.”
Lifting his face to look at her she stoked his cheek. “You may not be the person I thought you were, but you’re not the person the clientele here expects to see either. You’re a full person, with hopes and dreams, skills and trades, thoughts and opinions! And until you believe that I won’t leave you!”
She let out a sigh, resigning herself to the type of sacrifice true love requires. Spark had thought that because she and Vahaadi were from different worlds, it would be impossible to stay together, but there was no other choice. She needed to do this. Though she didn’t know the story particularly well, Spark was comforted as she remembered that even the Great Prince had once left the world of the King to love people in a land not his own. He hadn’t stayed forever, but he had remained until his love was complete. No matter what it meant leaving behind, Spark knew she had to do the same.
“If you have no where else to go, then I will stay here with you.”
When there’s nothin’ to believe in, I believe in you
Forget the past and let my hand in yours, be the proof
Though the strong could be my company, you’re the one I choose
So remember, I believe in you
I know it feels like every eye is watching you
Waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose
But I see victory, so all you have to do
Is remember, I believe in you
I believe, even when I see you cryin’
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothin’ comes from tryin’
Oh, remember, I believe in you
There will come a day when love will lift you out of here
There will come a day when love will bring the truth
There will come a day when love will free you from your fear
And you’ll remember, I believe in you
Bethany Dillon – I Believe In You Lyrics